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In the month of october , 2015 , charles webster baer has been putting on an orange buddhist monk robe and visiting all the groovy sites in tianjin china . the daebi temple and the queen of heaven palace , the art gallery and mueseum , the bonzai garden and zoo , the t.v. tower and the eye of tianjin , the boat rides of the haihe river and 1308 bavarian brauhaus , etc . more reports to come .
Charles Webster Baer
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xiaozhan , Tianjin , china
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October 27th , 2015
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sup . it is I , Chinese Charles . last Friday afternoon I was walking home from work and I walked by a mosque . I walked in , took off my shoes , faced mecca ( south west ) and got on all fours and prayed . then I split . did not see one person . have to do that again next year . had a great day today . took notes . wanna hear about it , ok , here it goes . woke up ( always good thing ) , had some of those breakfast sandwiches that are so good . oh man . I think its the sea weed that gives it that kick . and the chili spice . and the marinated pickled shredded potato . and the peanuts . the whole hard boilded egg is probably the star . but enough about breakfast . got on the bus , fully rocking the orange dali llama Buddhist super hero garb . its a crowd favorite . got on the subway , red line , sippin the pear juice . got to the yellow line , my old hood from way back in the day . went to the river . haihe river . pronounced high huh . hai means ocean , he means river . this is the river that the whole city is built around and splits the port . so , got to the yellow line stop on the river at 9:30 am . dongnanjiao . hit the starbucks , venti Americano with milk . they don't have cream . that's right . starbucks does not have cream . as in ever . never . on the subway some chick was singing into a microphone . the speaker and music was in the backpack . when the doors opened and the security guys were there she stopped . guess its against the law . pan handling on the subway . 9:39 I'm on the river , head up river . 10:05 I get to the warf . not really a warf but that's what they call it . fishermen fishing with the tip of the poll under the water . a guy swims by . this is tourist ground zero and the tour busses are parked as far as the eye can see . the official name of the place is TOURISM COMMERCE AND TRADE ZONE OF TIANJIN ANCIENT CULTURAL STREET . so , we be rockin hard core . south of tongbei road . north of shuige street . west of dongmalu road . east of the waterside terrace . the dock . ok , I roll in , buy a ticket for two bucks ( ten yuan ) to the QUEEN OF HEAVEN PALACE . they really go all out with the incense . big insence and lots of it . the incense barrels are like bon fires . smoke . I take a break in the bamboo and ivy garden and prepare to scribble like Ive never scribbled before . HALL OF THE GOD OF WEALTH . reconstructed in 2002 . built to worship bi gan of the shang dynasty , b.c. 1600 . that sounds pretty early , but that's what it said . maybe a typo . lots of English typos in china . two big pots full of water with coins and paper money . HALL OF THE PRINCESS OF AZURE CLOUDS . reconstructed in 1985 . liuxian , snake god . tudi shen , local god of earth . one guy is blue with horns . another has a beak and a bow and arrow . other guys and girls . no incense police here . its an incense free for all . temple of the holy smoke . SOUTH ANNEX HALL . built during the yuan dynasty , 1271 , this is a recurring theme . renovated in ming dynasty , 1368 . worship local gods , grangmother wang san , grandmother bai , the carrying water brother . now at the enterance , bell tower , rang it . drum tower . the Chinese like to use the auspicious . as in , the birds on the bell are auspicious . FRONT HALL . generals of mazu . these cats are bad ass . like world of Warcraft stuff . bonsai tree . yay . NORTH ANNEX HALL . worship god of medicine and the four major dragon kings , rulers of the four oceans , north , south , east , west . another blue guy and a guy with fangs . MAIN HALL . this is the hall of mazu , the goddess of the sea . this is the main event . lots of stuff here . statues , prayer wheels , offerings , etc . I think the name of this temple might also be TIANJIN TIANHOU PALACE . I tried to get my phone to do maps while I was here but it was on the fritz . things have since been rectified . HALL OF TAIWAN MAZU . 1985 . statues of mazu , goddess of the sea , from sister temples in Taiwan . 11 am . HALL OF EMPOROR GUAN . reconstructed in 2002 . original site , 1368 . old school . olllllllllllllllllld school . worship guan yu , general in han dynasty , 220 . PHOENIX TAIL HALL . this hall is attached to the main hall , which is the phoenix , and this hall is the tail of the phoenix . renovated 1985 . worship Guanyin , bodhisattva , associated with compassion . SCRIPTURE HALL . aka , back tower , built 1465 , ming dynasty . Taoist canon of the shengtong reign . YUANCHEN HALL . Chinese system of time keeping . 60 year cycle . like astrology . jia zi , god of destiny . its like a judas priest album . clinging to my starbucks as I hurl my physical form back into the roiling masses . everything is for sale and my wallet will leave this place empty . successfully fight powerful urges to purchase Chinese violin , Chinese traditional shirt ( they probably don't have my size ) , hat , art , sculpture , 11:35 am , leaning up against a real tank by a real church . just left the cleanest publich toilet I have seen in china . it was cleaner when I walked in . its all about putting lots of toilet paper in your pocket every time you leave your house . not joking . now leaning up against real artillery thing . weather absolutely perfect . 11:47 am . back at the warf . enjoying watermelon slices and corn on the cob ( dry ) don't know what I was expecting with that . dryed apercots ( mmmmmmm ) . pen runs out of ink but I have a back up . my back up is one of those pins where you have six colors to chose from . this would temporarily backfire on me later but I worked it all out in the end . now I'm back in the temple for round two . now I just bought a big black silk robe with a dragon on the back . HARD CORE to the BONE , BONE , BONE . dude practically tore the store apart to get my size . fifth time the charm . bought a flute but did not play it well so donated it to mazu . me and mazu , we have an understanding . if I had any cash left I would be playing a ukulele at this point . heard a siren so went to investigate , was a boiling rice cake pot . hahaha . ah the Chinese . tempted to buy mask . guy trys to get me to buy electric back massage . ahhhhhhhhh . almost . feather dusters , these things are ornaments . wood braclets . then , there they were , osasma bin laden playing cards . then , again , at a second place . Osama bin laden playing cards . Osama bin laden playing cards . at two different places . I was looking for these things specifically . swords . real and fake . good thing I'm broke . rubiks cube s . selfie sticks . I'm anti selfie stick . big vases . fans , back scratchers , real peacock feathers . finally hit the exit . its 12:40 pm . back to the warf . male piss room . that's what it said and that's what I did . river is milky green . and still . a wood row boat paddles by . fisherman collects net . its one pm . go to wu mart and by garbage bags , the big black ones . this is the only store in china that I know of that has these things . take the red line south to xiaobialo . pronounced shall buy low . shall sell high . this is where I catch the 652 downtown to my pad . long journey . standing . crowded . they crowd the bus to the point where you are full on sardine style . public transportation . subway is the same way . anyway , another great day . kindergarten is going great . everything awesome . massive amounts of love to all my American homies . happy Halloween . cwb out .
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Charles Webster Baer
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xiaozhan , Tianjin , china
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November 4th , 2015
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howzit . all well here . kindergarten is great . and the food is pretty good . I bring my own hot sauce . nothing to spicy for the kids . totally freaky Halloween party . yesterday I got , purchased , water till april at the water shop ( tap water ) , electricity till January at the electricity shop , internet till march at the internet shop , and phone till april at the phone shop . all these shops are a few blocks from my pad on the same street . the water guys and the electricity guys zapped my cards and I took my cards home and entered them into the things outside my door that I did not even know where there and , bang . that's how you do it in china . ok then . good to go . my pistachio binge of three weeks continues unabated . I told lucy wang to get me an interview at Tianjin university or nangasi university . those are the two best colleges in town . she probably wont be able to swing it but that's fine with me because I totally dig where I am and what I'm doing . the cold wet weather is on its way but today was perfect weather , a little smoggy . still slightly unsure if my washing machine works or not . a few times it does not do the final spin . sent a message to a person at the opera house telling her I want to make a speech there . that would be hoot . that's where I was today . there is this big , man made lake , with fountains and a huge silver C that I'm sure stands for Charles Webster Baer . anyway , the opera house is there , I'm now going clock wise , then the museum of science , then the library , then the art museum , the THE MUSEUM ( worlds greatest indoor place ever thank you ) , then the museum of natural history , then this big garden park thing , then , due north , the galaxy mall , which is huge , new , cool and that's where I get my star bucks after the museum . well , uh , in case you have not figured it out by now , today I went to the Tianjin museum , after I went to the art gallery . I brought my notebook , I have many , and some pens , in case one ran out of ink . so lets just get right to it , shall we . got up around 7 . that's pretty much when I get up every day . very well rested . up with the sun . a little internet . put on the magic orange robe and the love beads , dreads au natural . give the breakfast sandwich lady 20 yuan and four fingers , meaning I want four , then make the cash sign , give me my change , which is 4 yuan , which I use for buss fare . there are two breakfast sandwich ladies and I go to the one that is not busy or closest . there are two other ladies that make p cakes . those things are also great . its like a omlete . these things are cheap , fast , healthy , close , and delicious . she makes me the first one and I grab it and go stand in the middle of the street to survey my domain . also , as you eat these things , they disintegrate , so , if they disintegrate on to the street , well , so much the better . the bus comes , the 652 , and I get one with one breakfast sandwich left , which I will scarf down when I get off the bus . its now 7:44 am and the bus is crowded and the traffic is bad . totally score when the guy next to me gets up and splits . now I not only have a seat , I have a seat with leg room . this is major issue for people of the tall and large variety . I'm sure that I will have to offer it to an old lady at some point . eventually I do , but she declines . that means I'm cool for the rest of the journey because every one knows I made the offer . the deal with the bus is that if you think that you can actually squeeze on , then go ahead and give it a shot . when I'm standing on the bus I stand at the back door where people get off . this allows me to stand on the edge putting the pressure on my middle part of the foot , which is the cure for planar flasilisititis or whatever the doctor said I had . so I that and it feels really good . life is all about being creative and turning positives into negatives . a few small mental tweeks and all problems become opportunities . get the bus window open . this will be impossible when it gets cold because the other passangers wont have any of that . pass a giant cube that says Tianjin uptown . who knew . the first leg of the journey , or last if your coming back , is the canal . its a canal . this town should be called canalville . its not cold but everyone is wearing a jacket . the Chinese are all dressed better than me , as are the americans , unless I'm in my Buddhist super hero uniform , which , of course , I am , but I did not activate it by hiding my hands today because today I was off duty . traffic is bad . I almost write a poem about my breakfast sandwich as it lays on the floor of the bus . 8:06 am . now in jinnan , which is where the urban development becomes dense . this is where the library is where I work on the weekends . we hang a left and now on the middle part of the journey . this is the old Tianjin high way . south dagu road . this goes from downtown to the ocean . so to does my bus , the 652 . we pass by tute , Tianjin university of technology and education , where I worked last year . 9:52 am . now at the art museum , I needed my passport to get in . that usually is not the case . lots of good art . a lot of rembrant on the top floor . 10:09 am . ok , this is where the show really starts . I'm on the top floor , fifth floor , best floor , of the Tianjin museum . I swear to god I could spend a solid year on this floor and then leave and then want to come back the next day . this is like my 14th trip here . I'm like a phrikin employee . first stop is jade . there are a lot of new jade pieces here that were not here last month . grey jade cloud pendant . Neolithic age . grey jade pipe . I can get down with that . jade ear ring . next stop , pot . as in porcieline . of the blue and white variety . 10:49 . 1st floor . waiting for ice cream to thaw . actually , this is what passes for ice cream in china , but , as an American who actually knows what ice cream is , I am highly skeptical of any Chinese dairy product , especially ice cream . none the less , I eat the stuff and its ok I suppose , whatever the hell it is . I'm sure the ingredients list is like a leo Tolstoy novel . 11:19 am , back on 5th floor , round two . jade again , ah yes , the jade burial suit , I will take three please . 3124 pieces of jade and 3 pounds of gold thread . stylish , and comfortable . jade feitian . that's what you get when you take the god of music and the goddess of singing and put them together . jade kalavinka , bird with human head and flower tail . I think those are and endangered species . jade garuda , bird that eats dragons . lots of dragons on the porceline . accidentally back door the salt trade room . bronze bell from the han dynasty . qing dynasty bamboo carving of a guy named liu hai who defeated the golden toad and then , of course , the frog puked cash . good frog . oracle bone , wuding period, of shang dynasty , recorded invasion of country . oracle bone recorded kings inquiry if his dream of a white bull is a good omen . that's a tough one . bronze seals , these are the things you dip in ink and then put on paper and that's like your signature . bronze bo , looks like a big bell , percussion instrument . more ocacle bones . LOVE ME SOME ORACLE BONES . shang dynasy , red ink ( very rare ) records slaughtering people in the country . that's the best place to slaughter people . ok , roll to the fouth floor . last month this was the maritime silk road with lots of cool stuff , but that's gone , drag , and its like this exibit of some local cat . borrrrrrrring . roll to third floor . ok , so , a century and a half ago , the west carved up Tianjin downtown , so here is the break down , moving down river from the east side , japs , French , british , usa , german , west side down river , Austria , Italy , Russia , Belgium . o k , love this one , mao's suit that he wore on October first , 1949 , in tianamen square when he gave the grand ceremony speech founding the new china . its green and wool and looks comfy . can I try it on . please . come on . ok , check this out . bank notes . aka cash money . 1918 , issued in Tianjin by the bank of china . 1925 , sino - Scandinavian bank note . 1930 , chartered bank of india , Australia and china . 1938 , illegal Japanese authorities set up federal reserve bank of china in march . god I love this room . 1920 , Chinese American bank of commerce bank note . 12:11 , second floor . jade cabbage with three grass hoppers . I don't know why , but that is my total fav in the whole joint . don't know why . so incredible . ok , now I'm out . starbucks , check . quadruple bacon cheese burger at burger king . check . outdoor seating . nope , took that down for winter . this is the galaxy mall I'm at . if you want to buy a purse for $6000 this is the place for you . ok , roll to the subway , get on the bus , and , I'm rolling home . 2:10 pm . totally score the killer seat in the back on the aisle . another great day in T . J . my heat gets turned on in 11 days so the next e mail is going to be me telling you I'm cold . I know why I love writing these e mails so much . its because I love the people that I'm writing it to so much . I also am unable and unwilling to stop talking about myself . massive quantities of positive vibrations beamed directly to my USA home crew . cwb out .