AH YEAH 

GLOBAL INTERNET GOVERNMENT 

In the month of october , 2015 , charles webster baer has been putting on an orange buddhist monk robe and visiting all the groovy sites in tianjin china .     the daebi temple and the queen of heaven palace , the art gallery and mueseum , the bonzai garden and zoo , the t.v. tower and the eye of tianjin , the boat rides of the haihe river and 1308 bavarian brauhaus , etc .        more reports to come .      


be the universe


DONATE










Charles Webster Baer




.




xiaozhan  , Tianjin , china




.




October 27th , 2015




.




sup .    it is I , Chinese Charles .      last Friday afternoon I was walking home from work and I walked by a mosque .      I walked in , took off my shoes , faced mecca ( south west ) and got on all fours and prayed .    then I split .    did not see one person .     have to do that again next year .      had a great day today .     took notes .    wanna hear about it , ok , here it goes .       woke up ( always good thing ) , had some of those breakfast sandwiches that are so good .      oh man .      I think its the sea weed that gives it that kick .    and the chili spice .     and the marinated pickled shredded potato .      and the peanuts .       the whole hard boilded egg is probably the star .     but enough about breakfast .      got on the bus , fully rocking the orange dali llama Buddhist super hero garb .      its a crowd favorite .     got on the subway , red line , sippin the pear juice .    got to the yellow line , my old hood from way back in the day .      went to the river .     haihe river .    pronounced high huh .     hai means ocean , he means river .      this is the river that the whole city is built around and splits the port .      so , got to the yellow line stop on the river at 9:30 am .     dongnanjiao .      hit the starbucks , venti Americano with milk .    they don't have cream  .     that's right .   starbucks does not have cream .      as in ever .    never .     on  the subway some chick was singing into a microphone .    the speaker and music was in the backpack .     when the doors opened and the security guys were there she stopped .      guess its against the law .     pan handling on the subway .      9:39 I'm on the river , head up river .    10:05 I get to the warf .     not really a warf but that's what they call it .   fishermen fishing with the tip of the poll under the water .      a guy swims by .    this is tourist ground zero and the tour busses are parked as far as the eye can see .      the official name of the place is TOURISM COMMERCE AND TRADE ZONE OF TIANJIN ANCIENT  CULTURAL STREET .    so , we be rockin hard core .    south of tongbei road .    north of shuige street .    west of dongmalu road .     east of the waterside terrace .   the dock .   ok , I roll in , buy a ticket for two bucks ( ten yuan ) to the QUEEN OF HEAVEN PALACE .     they really go all out with the incense .   big insence and lots of it .    the incense barrels are like bon fires .     smoke .      I take a break in the bamboo and ivy garden and prepare to scribble like Ive never scribbled before .      HALL OF THE GOD OF WEALTH .    reconstructed in 2002 .  built to worship bi gan of the shang dynasty , b.c. 1600 .    that sounds pretty early , but that's what it said .   maybe a typo .     lots of English typos in china .      two big pots full of water with coins and paper money .     HALL OF THE PRINCESS OF AZURE CLOUDS .    reconstructed in 1985 .  liuxian , snake god .   tudi shen , local god of earth .     one guy is blue with horns  .    another has a beak  and a bow and arrow .   other guys and girls .    no incense police here .    its an incense free for all .    temple of the holy smoke .     SOUTH ANNEX HALL .    built during the yuan dynasty , 1271 , this is a recurring theme .    renovated in ming dynasty , 1368 .    worship local gods , grangmother wang san , grandmother bai , the carrying water brother .     now at the enterance , bell tower , rang it .    drum tower .    the Chinese like to use the auspicious .     as in , the birds on the bell are auspicious .    FRONT HALL .     generals of mazu .    these cats are bad ass .      like world of Warcraft stuff .    bonsai tree .    yay .   NORTH ANNEX HALL .    worship god of medicine and the four major dragon kings , rulers  of the four oceans , north , south , east , west .    another blue guy and a guy with fangs .     MAIN HALL .    this is the hall of mazu , the goddess of the sea .  this is the main event .     lots of stuff here .    statues , prayer wheels , offerings , etc .     I think the name of this temple might also be TIANJIN TIANHOU PALACE .       I tried to get my phone to do maps while I was here but it was on the fritz .      things have since been rectified .      HALL OF TAIWAN MAZU .    1985 .    statues of mazu  , goddess of the sea , from sister temples in Taiwan .     11 am .     HALL OF EMPOROR GUAN .    reconstructed in 2002 .   original site , 1368 .      old school .     olllllllllllllllllld school .    worship guan yu , general in han dynasty , 220 .      PHOENIX TAIL HALL .    this hall is attached to the main hall , which is the phoenix , and this hall is the tail of the phoenix .     renovated 1985 .    worship Guanyin , bodhisattva , associated with compassion .    SCRIPTURE HALL .    aka , back tower , built 1465 , ming dynasty .    Taoist canon of the shengtong reign .    YUANCHEN HALL .    Chinese system of time keeping .   60 year cycle .   like astrology .    jia zi , god of destiny .    its like a judas priest album .     clinging to my starbucks as I hurl my physical form back into the roiling masses .    everything is for sale and my wallet will leave this place empty .    successfully fight powerful urges to purchase Chinese violin , Chinese traditional shirt ( they probably don't have my size ) , hat , art , sculpture , 11:35 am , leaning up against a real tank by a real church .    just left the cleanest publich toilet I have seen in china .    it was cleaner when I walked in .     its all about putting lots of toilet paper in your pocket every time you leave your house .     not joking .     now leaning up against real artillery thing .    weather absolutely perfect .    11:47 am .   back at the warf .   enjoying watermelon slices and corn on the cob ( dry ) don't know what I was expecting with that .     dryed apercots ( mmmmmmm ) .     pen runs out of ink but I have a back up .    my back up is one of those pins where you have six colors to chose from .     this would temporarily backfire on me later but I worked it all out in the end .    now I'm back in the temple for round two .    now I just bought a big black silk robe with a dragon on the back .     HARD CORE to the BONE , BONE , BONE .    dude practically tore the store apart to get my size .     fifth time the charm .    bought a flute but did not play it well so donated it to mazu .     me and mazu , we have an understanding .    if I had any cash left I would be playing a ukulele at this point .     heard a siren so went to investigate , was a boiling rice cake pot .    hahaha .     ah the Chinese .   tempted to buy mask .    guy trys to get me to buy electric back massage .     ahhhhhhhhh .      almost .   feather dusters , these things are ornaments .   wood braclets .     then , there they were , osasma bin laden playing cards .     then , again , at a second place .     Osama bin laden playing cards .     Osama bin laden playing cards .      at two different places .     I was looking for these things specifically .      swords .    real and fake .   good thing I'm broke .   rubiks cube s .   selfie sticks .     I'm anti selfie stick .    big vases .     fans , back scratchers , real peacock feathers .    finally hit the exit .    its 12:40 pm .    back to the warf .   male piss room  .     that's what it said and that's what I did .  river is milky green .    and still .    a wood row boat paddles by .    fisherman collects net .   its one pm .   go to wu mart and by garbage bags , the big black ones .     this is the only store in china that I know of that has these things .     take the red line south to xiaobialo .     pronounced shall buy low .    shall sell high .     this is where I catch the 652 downtown to my pad .    long journey .    standing .     crowded .     they crowd the bus to the point where you are full on sardine style .     public transportation .    subway is the same way .     anyway , another great day .      kindergarten is going great .     everything awesome .       massive amounts of love to all my American homies .       happy Halloween .      cwb out .




.




Charles Webster Baer




.




xiaozhan ,  Tianjin , china




.




November 4th , 2015




.




howzit .   all well here .    kindergarten is great .     and the food is pretty good .   I bring my own hot sauce .    nothing to spicy for the kids .     totally freaky Halloween party .   yesterday I got , purchased , water till april at the water shop ( tap water ) , electricity till January at the electricity shop , internet till march at the internet shop , and phone till april at the phone shop .    all these shops are a few blocks from my pad on the same street .    the water guys and the electricity guys zapped my cards and I took my cards home and entered them into the things outside my door that I did not even know where there and , bang .    that's how you do it in china .    ok then .     good to go .   my pistachio binge of three weeks continues unabated .      I told lucy wang to get me an interview at Tianjin university or nangasi university .    those are the two best colleges in town .     she probably wont be able to swing it but that's fine with me because I totally dig where I am and what I'm doing .     the cold wet weather is on its way but today was perfect weather , a little smoggy .      still slightly unsure if my washing machine works or not .     a few times it does not do the final spin .      sent a message to a person at the opera house telling her I want to make a speech there .    that would be hoot .      that's where I was today .     there is this big , man made lake , with fountains and a huge silver C that I'm sure stands for Charles Webster Baer .        anyway , the opera house is there , I'm now going clock wise , then the museum of science , then the library , then the art museum , the THE MUSEUM ( worlds greatest  indoor place ever thank you ) , then the museum of natural history , then this big garden park thing , then , due north , the galaxy mall , which is huge , new , cool and that's where I get my star bucks after the museum .     well , uh , in case you have not figured it out by now , today I went to the Tianjin museum , after I went to the art gallery .    I brought my notebook , I have many  , and some pens , in case one ran out of ink .     so lets just get right to it , shall we .      got up around 7 .     that's pretty much when I get up every day .      very well rested .     up with the sun .     a little internet .     put on the magic orange robe and the love beads , dreads au natural .      give the breakfast sandwich lady 20 yuan and four fingers , meaning I want four , then make the cash sign , give me my change , which is 4 yuan , which I use for buss fare .     there are two breakfast sandwich ladies and I go to the one that is not busy or closest .      there are two other ladies that make p cakes .     those things are also great .       its like a omlete .      these things are cheap , fast , healthy , close , and delicious .      she makes me the first one and I grab it and go stand in the middle of the street to survey my domain .      also , as you eat these things , they disintegrate , so , if they disintegrate on to the street , well , so much the better .     the bus comes , the 652 , and I get one with one breakfast sandwich left , which I will scarf down when I get off the bus .     its now 7:44 am and the bus is crowded and the traffic is bad .      totally score when the guy next to me gets up and splits .     now I not only have a seat , I have a seat with leg room .      this is major issue for people of the tall and large variety .      I'm sure that I will have to offer it to an old lady at some point .     eventually I do , but she declines .      that means I'm cool for the rest of the journey because every one knows I made the offer .     the deal with the bus is that if you think that you can actually squeeze on , then go ahead and give it a shot .     when I'm standing on the bus I stand at the back door where people get off .    this allows me to stand on the edge putting the pressure on my middle part of the foot , which is the cure for planar flasilisititis or whatever the doctor said I had .     so I that and it feels really good .     life is all about being creative and turning positives into negatives .     a few small mental tweeks and all problems become opportunities .       get the bus window open .    this will be impossible when it gets cold because the other passangers wont have any of that .     pass a giant cube that says Tianjin uptown .     who knew .     the first leg of the journey , or last if your coming back , is the canal .     its a canal .    this town should be called canalville .    its not cold but everyone is wearing a jacket .    the Chinese are all dressed better than me , as are the americans , unless I'm in my Buddhist super hero uniform , which , of course , I am , but I did not activate it by hiding my hands today because today I was off duty .     traffic is bad .    I almost write a poem about my breakfast sandwich as it lays on the floor of the bus .     8:06 am .    now in jinnan , which is where the urban development becomes dense .       this is where the library is where I work on the weekends .     we hang a left and now on the middle part of the journey .    this is the old Tianjin high way .    south dagu road .     this goes from downtown to the ocean .    so to does my bus , the 652 .     we pass by tute , Tianjin university of technology and education , where I worked last year .      9:52 am .    now at the art museum , I needed my passport to get in .    that usually is not the case .     lots of good art .      a lot of rembrant on the top floor .     10:09 am .    ok , this is where the show really starts .    I'm on the top floor , fifth floor , best floor , of the Tianjin museum .     I swear to god I could spend a solid year on this floor and then leave and then want to come back the next day .      this is like my 14th trip here .      I'm like a phrikin employee .     first stop is jade .       there are a lot of new jade pieces here that were not here last month .      grey jade cloud pendant .    Neolithic age .     grey jade pipe .     I can get down with that .     jade ear ring .     next stop , pot .     as in porcieline .      of the blue and white variety .     10:49 .    1st floor .    waiting for ice cream to thaw .    actually , this is what passes for ice cream in china , but , as an American who actually knows what ice cream is , I am highly skeptical of any Chinese dairy product , especially ice cream .      none the less , I eat the stuff and its ok I suppose , whatever the hell it is .     I'm sure the ingredients list is like a leo Tolstoy novel .     11:19 am , back on 5th floor , round two .    jade again , ah yes , the jade burial suit , I will take three please .    3124 pieces of jade and 3 pounds of gold thread .    stylish , and comfortable .    jade feitian .     that's what you get when you take the god of music and the goddess of singing and put them together .    jade kalavinka , bird with human head and flower tail .     I think those are and endangered species .     jade garuda , bird that eats dragons .     lots of dragons on the porceline .     accidentally back door the salt trade room .      bronze bell from the han dynasty .      qing dynasty bamboo carving of a guy named liu hai who defeated the golden toad and then , of course , the frog puked cash .     good frog .    oracle bone , wuding period, of shang dynasty , recorded invasion of country .     oracle bone recorded kings inquiry if his dream of a white bull is a good omen .     that's a tough one .     bronze seals , these are the things you dip in ink and then put on paper and that's like your signature .    bronze bo , looks like a big bell , percussion instrument .     more ocacle bones .      LOVE ME SOME ORACLE BONES .      shang dynasy , red ink ( very rare ) records slaughtering people in the country .     that's the best place to slaughter people .    ok , roll to the fouth floor .     last month this was the maritime silk road with lots of cool stuff , but that's gone , drag , and its like this exibit of some local cat .    borrrrrrrring .      roll to third floor .    ok , so , a century and a half ago , the west carved up Tianjin downtown , so here is the break down , moving down river from the east side , japs , French , british , usa , german , west side down river , Austria , Italy , Russia , Belgium .      o k , love this one , mao's suit that he wore on October first , 1949 , in tianamen square when he gave the grand ceremony speech founding the new china .     its green and wool and looks comfy .     can I try it on .   please .     come on .     ok , check this out .     bank notes .    aka cash money .    1918  , issued in Tianjin by the bank of china .   1925 , sino - Scandinavian bank note .     1930 , chartered bank of india , Australia and china .    1938 , illegal Japanese authorities set up federal reserve bank of china in march .     god I love this room .      1920 , Chinese American bank of commerce bank note .   12:11 , second floor .     jade cabbage with three grass hoppers .     I don't know why , but that is my total fav in the whole joint .       don't know why .     so incredible .     ok , now I'm out .    starbucks , check .     quadruple bacon cheese burger at burger king .    check .    outdoor seating .    nope , took that down for winter .      this is the galaxy mall I'm at .    if you want to buy a purse for $6000 this is the place for you .     ok , roll to the subway , get on the bus , and , I'm rolling home .   2:10 pm .   totally score the killer seat in the back on the aisle .    another great day in T . J .   my heat gets turned on in 11 days so the next e mail is going to be me telling you I'm cold .    I know why I love writing these e mails so much .     its because I love the people that I'm writing it to so much .      I also am unable and unwilling to stop talking about myself .      massive quantities of positive vibrations beamed directly to my USA home crew .    cwb out .